that's an acceptable place to lick
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
