I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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