Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
