she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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