Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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