What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
