Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize