Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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