how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
