Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
