Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize