wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
