Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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