We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
