I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
