I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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