So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
