i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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