If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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