I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
