If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
