Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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