so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
