i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
