so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
wow bdsm is so cute
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
