Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
