Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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