The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
