i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
