apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
