She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
