When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
