Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
