That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
