a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The adults are the big ones right?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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