you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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