Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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