Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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