I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just had sex on a roof
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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