I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
