Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
