Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
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