I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
