You just made me feel so damn special
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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