He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
