nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
