..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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