Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
