boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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