i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
