No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
