He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
