singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
