I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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