I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize