he told me I talked like a deaf person
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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