My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
is that a dick in a sweater?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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