Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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