Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
